In a news report straight from the 2012 International Marmalade Awards in Cumbria, the Australian XI "thrashed" the England XI with the scores 189 to 131. This is a pleasing result - to beat England in England at something else they claim to have invented (besides cricket!) is always worthwhile - and two years in a row.
The Australian XI, a team of 11 home-made marmalades plus 12th jar, toured to Cumbria up against the England XI after being selected at the Buninyong Marvellous Marmalade Fair. Jar of the Match (best from both teams) at this international event was awarded to Genevieve Schwarze of Glenroy in Melbourne for her Lime marmalade.
Full results from Cumbria at Marmalade Awards
Australia's disastrous Ashes loss to England, combined with the need to find an independent adjudicator in the important area of marmalade pride, led to the incarnation of the MarmalAshes trophy in the small Victorian gold-rush village of Buninyong in western Victoria, Australia.
Rather than sit around and mope for the two years to the next Test series, Buninyong decided to challenge England to something else they claim to have invented - marmalade.
And the trophy - the MarmalAshes.
The MarmalAshes had to be an exact replication of cricket's historic Ashes that are 'bolted down' at Lords, never to tour. So, even when Australia wins cricket's grandest prize - the worthless little Ashes urn - Australians have to travel to Lords to view the trophy they've won.
So:
Strictly in keeping with these principles, the MarmalAshes, a tiny jar filled with an unknown something, was empanelled in the Dock of the old Buninyong Courthouse in a dignified and moving procession led by local Mayor, Cr Craig Fletcher followed by local dignatories to much media attention. So the MarmalAshes are now incarcerated - never to leave.
Let it be known that we chose the Dock of our old Courthouse to honour The Barmy Army, England cricket's ever-enthusiastic and melodious support group, who continually and songfully remind us that many an Australian came to this country via the Dock of an English court!
Also like the Ashes urn which is said to contain burnt items - variously cricket bails, a ball cover or women's clothing - the contents of the tiny MarmalAshes are unknown, although instant legend has it that the jar contains a very burnt batch of marmalade - but that's just one of life's little mysteries!
Who is eligible to send in entries for selection in the Australian Eleven?
Answer: Anyone with an Australian address and the will to beat the Poms at something they claim to have invented!
In a television interview, above, Russell Luckock relates the history of the MarmalAshes trophy after their empanelment in the Dock of the old Buninyong Courthouse by Mayor of Ballarat, Cr Craig Fletcher (left of photo). Looking on are (l to r) Cr Ben Taylor, Jim Clementson, President of the Buninyong Ward Progress Association, marmalade-makers Lyn Fleming and June Henderson, President of Buninyong CWA and Neil McCracken, of the Buninyong Historical Society. (photo Stephanie Patterson, 16/2/2011)
The Selectors will be at the
Buninyong Marvellous Marmalade Fair
in Buninyong, near Ballarat, Western Victoria,
Sunday 3rd February, 2013
